Get Used To Cold Showers

Summary: Effortlessly taking cold showers is a mental game.

Intro: This is my own experience, so don’t take everything written here as 100% truth. Absorb my theory and adapt it to your own world view.

My skin hasn’t felt the joy of hot water in over 6 months (few exceptions). However, I’m not some habit guru who lives his life to maximum efficiency. I’ve been trying and failing to develop this habit for over a year and I can finally say that I have it down.

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This post isn’t to discuss the benefits of cold showers. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever write about the benefits because there’s a lot of hot air around this subject. But, I can confirm that there are some physical and mental changes. They are very subtle, but impactful enough to convince me to keep taking cold showers.

I am going to help you get over the mental blocks that make cold showers so difficult. It really is all a mental game. You can I both know that after the initial splash of cold water on your skin that everything is okay. However, it’s still so hard to get into that damn shower.

Now let’s discuss some of these mental blocks.

Is it even worth it? – I laugh about this sometimes. What if this is all placebo and there are no tangible benefits from cold showers? What if I am sacrificing my nice and luxurious hot showers for nothing? Then I take a look in the mirror at my clearer skin and healthier hair and remember that my cold showers are working as intended.

But its cold today – Ahh nothing like some good ol’ fashioned rationalization. Hey it’s cold right now, let’s treat ourselves to a nice hot shower just for today. This thought process alone caused me to break so many good streaks. And we all know what happens after a relapse with any habit.

Let’s start tomorrow – This happens a lot when first starting a habit or after relapsing. You broke your streak once so you might as well fuck around for a couple of days right? Then once you’re satisfied you can get right back to it. Thinking like this will knock you off course in no time.

I’m tired – It’s been a long day, you deserve this hot shower. Although you’ve been trying to develop this habit for months, you should break your streak because of how you’re feeling right now! Also contrary to what others say, I have no issues sleeping after a cold shower.

These are just a few of the mental blocks I can remember. If I think of more I’ll update this post. It’s important to recognize your own thought patterns and take note of them. These are what cause you to stand outside the shower without every getting in. Or may cause you to avoid taking a shower at all.

To be clear, I’m not hating on those who take hot showers. Cold showers are definitely a good habit but it won’t change your life. But if you combine them with mindful meditation, not fapping, physical training and other good habits then you’ve got yourself a life changing routine.

Lessons Learned:
– Cold showers have subtle benefits.
– Take a cold shower

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Meditation Improves Social Skills

Summary: Mindful meditation helps you stay present which plays a key part in being social.

Intro: This is my own opinion, so don’t take everything written here as 100% truth. Absorb my theory and adapt it to your own world view.

I had a bit of free time after my workout, so I decided to meditate on the bench across from my gym. About ten minutes pass and my phone vibrates. I open my eyes and see my girl calling me. I walk up behind her and surprise her by grabbing her ass. My frame was unbreakable and we had a great time that night.

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I try to meditate immediately before going out or seeing my girl. It puts me into a present state of mind which allows me to socialize more fluidly. Mindfulness definitely plays a role in frame control, which as a result enhances your social skills.

Social benefits from meditation

  • Conversations
  • Charisma
  • Wit

All of these benefits come directly from mindfulness and presence. I wouldn’t say that it makes you think quicker, but that it allows you to think more effectively. The ability to hold a conversation, charm others, and be witty is drastically improved when you’re present to the moment.

Conversations – We all know those people who can’t hold a conversation. It’s awkward, but I understand where they’re coming from. They’re just always up in their heads. You can tell they are thinking about other things and simply can’t bring themselves to the moment. It’s like they’re in their own little world. Don’t be that person.

Being present allows you to process what others are saying more effectively. It’s inefficient to constantly return to the present in order gather what others are saying. Then to process that information you must go back into your head and think of your response. Think of all the nonverbal social cues that were missed during that time. It’s a wasteful way of communicating and one should train themselves to process information from a present state of mind.

Charisma – What is charisma? It’s the ability to capture attention, persuade, and charm. Growing up I was not a charismatic person, but I’ve learned the techniques and social skills from masters in the art of persuasion. It’s not something you’re born with but something you gain out of necessity from your life situation. It’s a learned set of behaviors people gain as a survival mechanism.

How does meditation help with charisma? Olivia Fox Cabane discovered three attributes of charismatic people: presence, power, and warmth. We’re going to touch on presence and save the last two for another in-depth charisma post. Being present to a conversation means you are listening and giving someone your valuable time. As we know mindful meditation enhances your ability to be present, making yourself instantly more charismatic.

Wit – I firmly believe that wit is the root of game and an essential social skill. A person who is quick with their wit has nothing to worry about when it comes to personal attacks. Lots of people are smart, but not all of them are skilled in the art of finesse. Pay attention to Kevin O’Leary and the other sharks in Shark Tank for prime examples of cunning and wit.

Half the challenge of being witty is to acknowledge that a game is being played and attacks are going to come your way. It’s essential to incorporate amused mastery into your lifestyle. Amused mastery is recognizing darkness and cunning in others, and masterfully playing with it. The more you meditate on this concept the easier it is to understand.

The other half is being quick enough to notice an attack and respond accordingly. I’ll admit that there are times where I recognize an attack too late and can’t think of a witty reply in time simply because I wasn’t present to the moment. Attacks are usually subtle, and one must be present to realize one. I’ll eventually make a post on proper ways to react to an attack, but that’s not what this post is about.

Lessons Learned:
– Meditation improves your conversation skills.
– Being present enhances your charisma.
– Wit is the root of game.

Further Reading:

The Charisma Myth – Olivia Fox Cabane

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NoFap Benefits After One Year

Summary: Abstaining from masturbation has five subtle yet noticeable benefits that will improve your overall peace of mind.

Intro: This is my own experience, so don’t take everything written here as 100% truth. Absorb my theory and adapt it to your own world view.

I’m officially a fapstronaut and this is my 1 year report. It feels like just yesterday that I submitted my 90 day report to the NoFap subreddit. My post was deleted and I received quite a bit of hate but there’s no hard feelings. This is me giving back to the NoFap community whether they like my content or not.

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I must mention that I’ve never had a problem with pornography and am in no way an addict. I practice NoFap for the subtle benefits it provides. I also did this experiment on easy mode for most of the year after I decided that having a girlfriend was worth not being horny all the time.

Let’s list the benefits.

  1. Presence
  2. Willpower
  3. Confidence
  4. Happiness
  5. Masculine Energy

Those are the improvements that I can personally confirm. I’ve never had a problem with erectile dysfunction or quality, so I can’t report on those topics. I can’t confirm any physical or biological improvements because I was getting laid regularly meaning I didn’t practice semen retention. All of my results are mental gains.

Now let’s discuss the benefits.

Presence – This is something I noticed after just a few days. Like most men I would get off at least once a day. Being horny made me hyper aware of my presence in a room. It’s very subtle and isn’t something I can easily describe. I practice mindful meditation consistently which may play a factor. It may not be entirely NoFap but I feel it plays a part in staying focused and shifting your mind into a present-oriented state of mind.

Willpower – There’s a new sense of freedom that I’m going to touch on in the next paragraph. I believe it comes from a combination of increased willpower and confidence. It’s a feeling of being able to do anything. I’ll use a fitness example to explain. Sometimes there’s an urge to give up mid workout because my mind and body are exhausted. My mind begins rationalizing reasons why I deserve to stop. But I know I can finish, I’ve done it every workout before this one. It’s similar to how I’ve resisted every urge to fap so far and I’ll resist any more that come my way. The willpower gains from NoFap will cross over into other aspects of your life.

Confidence – Confidence isn’t gained from NoFap, but from the self appreciation of practicing good habits and abstaining from bad ones. Most guys masturbate. Chances are that guy you’re envious of fapped this morning while taking a shit. He was in his most humiliating state just hours ago. That’s something that I can no longer relate to. It’s easy to look a man in the eye and shake his hand when you subconsciously have this advantage.

Happiness – This relates to confidence but in a different way. Fapping sucks and it’s depressing. You know that feeling you get right after you get off? When you’re thinking “What am I doing??” “Why am I wasting time doing this!?” “I don’t need this! I’m gonna start working out and hitting the books right now!” Then 30 minutes later your dick is in your hand. That cycle is unhealthy for your happiness and the self deprecation leads to what the community refers to as brain fog.

Masculine Energy – I saved my favorite benefit for last. Something about abstaining from masturbation makes you more of a man. I can’t explain it biologically but it’s there. Girls are more receptive and men respect your presence. Your voice will be deeper and you’ll be more assertive over what you want. There’s a subtle aura that others react to.

Also worth mentioning:

  • Porn doesn’t turn me on as much
  • Hard mode is called hard mode for a reason
  • It won’t get you laid, but it helps
  • It won’t help if you’re an awkward loser, you need a mission and a plan
  • The benefits shine in other aspects of your life, which is why you need a life purpose
  • It’s not something I think about anymore, it’s just a part of my lifestyle
  • Girls are amazed when they hit me with the “just jack off in the bathroom” line
  • Don’t count the days or measure your self worth by them
  • When an urge comes, remember that you simply don’t masturbate anymore

Lessons Learned:
– NoFap helps you stay present.
– NoFap helps maintain your peace of mind.
– Don’t fap.

R

Further Reading:

NoFap – Get A New Grip On Life 

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