Your Time Is Valuable

Summary: The harder to reach, the higher your value.

Intro: This is my own original concept, so don’t take everything written here as 100% truth. Absorb my theory and adapt it to your own world view.

Last week I was visiting my grandparents and observing the usual arguments that ensue. My cousin who lives with them began telling me about how nice our grandmother was when he first moved in. Time passed and she got used to seeing him. After a while the shit tests started and problems would arise.

So he began limiting his time at the house and the problems slowly stopped. In contrast, my other cousin who also lives there chooses to spend most of his time in his room, giving my grandparents plenty of opportunities to see him. Now all of their complaints seem to be about him.

Body:

When you spend time with a person, it means that at the moment your time is equally valuable. When someone wants to hang out with you it shows that they value your time, and saying no sends the message that your time is too valuable for them right now. This is the stage that you want to achieve with most people.

Let’s discuss this with different relationship examples.

Family

For those of you that live away from home, whether in college or on your own, think about how nice your parents are when you visit. Spending most of your time at home around family shows that you have nothing going on. You could fap all day and nobody will know what you’re up to, making it easy to fake your value. This can’t be done with family, and it’s essential that you limit your time at home to prevent unnecessary drama.

When visiting family I bring my laptop and get work done while everyone watches TV. When everyone is socializing or eating I close my laptop and join in. This shows that my time is too valuable to sit around and watch TV with them, but that I do value our quality time.

Friends

Think about how losers have loser friends, and winners have cool friends. Losers hang out together because their time is equally worthless, and vice versa for winners. The key to having cool friends is to limit your time and eagerness to hang out. At the same time, you need to have interesting topics to talk about that shows you’re out hustling or doing fun things. Real recognize real, and winners want winner friends, so show that you have stuff going on in your life.

I have friends with game, friends to talk business with, and friends to party with. I even have friends I discuss meditation with. When I see my game friends we talk about girls that we’re currently gaming. With my hustler friends we talk about our schemes. Everyone needs to have a few schemes by the way, if you aren’t making money then get on it. With my party friends I talk about fun events that I went to. Know your audience and what makes them tick. Talk about doing things that are valuable to them and they will respect you.

Girls

While girls might find this article useful, I’m writing for men because I’m a man and I only know how to pick up girls. Don’t be the guy that replies to texts immediately. Don’t be the guy who’s always asking to hang out. And don’t be the guy who texts first to hang out.

I’m not going to go in-depth with this topic just yet. Be scarce, be aloof, and be interesting. Girls want to spend time with a cool guy that does his own thing. You can fake it but your results will drastically improve when girls can sense that your time is actually valuable.

Business

Always look busy when you’re at work. People will be less likely to bother you with useless nonsense, and when they do, quickly disengage so they are less likely to do so in the future. The next paragraph only applies to those of you with jobs that can be done from home. If your job requires you to be in the field for 8 hours then skip this paragraph.

Can you finish your work in a few hours, but your boss requires you to be present for the full eight? Tell them you are going to do your job from home. If they refuse then offer to try it for a few days and if it doesn’t work out you will come back. This will give you more free time and make your presence in the office more valuable on the days that you need to come in. Now you can take action and make some serious gains in life.

Lessons Learned:
– Don’t spend too much time at home
– Limit your time with friends
– Have interesting things to talk about
– Limit your availability with girls
– Work from home

Further Reading:

The 4-Hour Workweek

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How To Take Action In Life

Summary: Success from taking action can be achieved through a present-oriented state of mind.

Intro: This is my own original concept, so don’t take everything written here as 100% truth. Absorb my theory and adapt it to your own world view. There’s a goldmine of knowledge in this post and I’m certain you’ll find it useful.

So there I was, smoking a joint in my cousin’s car as we usually do before long drives. We talked about back when we lived together, and how crazy it is to see the next generations growing up. All that reminiscing made me realize just how much mental thought could be wasted on thinking about the past.

I began contemplating just how much mental energy can be saved by a proper focus of ones mind. I took this concept and meditated on it. I believe there are seven extreme mental focus points of origin, half of which lead to failure. Read on as I break this down.

Body:

Imagine a graph with two upper quadrants. The x-axis represents the time orientation of ones mental focus. The y-axis represents ones degree of action in their life. There are 6 points of extremity to this graph. Now stop imagining because I went ahead and made it for you.

Let’s discuss each point.

1A – Past-Oriented Action

This is action from fear of the past. These people are motivated by their discomfort of their past life situation. While a degree of success can be achieved with this mindset, their thoughts default focus is always the past, keeping them from achieving maximum productivity.

1B – Past-Oriented Complacency

Here we have complacency from fear of the past. These people dwell on their past failures. Their minds are consumed by repetitive negative thoughts and they will never take action because they rationalize excuses related to memorable past events. This mindset leads to extreme complacency.

2A – Present-Oriented Action

The optimal mindset. These people are motivated by self fulfillment from taking steps towards improving their current life situation. They don’t dwell on past failures or future successes. Their main focus is always what they are currently doing. They think of the future in terms of time, and they refer to the past only when remembering a lesson learned. This mindset produces extreme productivity, but it’s tough to achieve. More will be discussed on this later.

2B – Present-Oriented Complacency

When someone is content with their current situation, and have zero intention of improving it, they get complacent. They remain present to the moment, but aren’t productive with their time. Interestingly, a degree of action must already be in place to achieve this mindset, which is why it ranks near the middle on the y-axis. These people may be successful, or they may be failures, but they are almost always happy. Depending on ones desire to improve their life situation, the level of action can vary from extreme complacency (monks who devote their life to Buddhism) to minor action.

3A – Future-Oriented Action

Those who are motivated by a desire for a better future fall into this category. Their thoughts revolve around their future successes. Their current life situation doesn’t have to be bad nor good, and their level of action is determined by when their achievements are ‘enough’. With this mindset one can be extremely successful. However, their thoughts of success may consume them. While they may not be extremely complacent, they won’t always take action. Only thinking of the end goal and not focusing on what needs to be done now will lead them to failure.

3B – Future-Oriented Complacency

Our last category happens when someone is scared of failure. This fear leads to a lack of action. Similar to point ‘1B’, this mindset will lead to extreme complacency, but for different reasons. While the past-oriented person doesn’t act due to repetitive thoughts of past failures, this person doesn’t act due to anxiety and fear of failing the current situation. They don’t need past failures to rationalize their complacency.

How to apply this knowledge.

What you want to achieve is a present-oriented mindset with a strong desire to improve your current life situation. Most of you already have this desire or you wouldn’t be reading this. I believe that everyone’s mental focus fluctuates all over the graph throughout their day, but they always default to one particular mindset. Here’s how you can set your default state of mind to a present-orientation while being extremely productive:

  1. Practice meditation – there’s no skipping this step. Mindful meditation trains you to be aware of your thoughts and feelings, see the bottom of this post for more information.
  2. Refer to the past for relevant knowledge – if you find yourself thinking of a past situation that’s not related to what you’re currently doing, stop immediately.
  3. Set goals – set big picture goals for what you want to achieve.
  4. Manage your time – Your time is valuable so create a daily schedule of what needs to be done.
  5. Think of the future only in terms of time and goals – for example, “I’m going to work out at 5:00”. If you find yourself daydreaming about future successes, stop immediately and focus on what you need to do right now.

Lessons Learned:
– Don’t think about the past
– Don’t think about the future
– Set your goals
– Focus on what needs to be done now
– Find satisfaction in taking the right steps

Further Reading:

The Power of Now

Mindfulness in Plain English

Related Posts:

Why All Men Must Practice Meditation

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Mindful Meditation Benefits You Should Know

Summary: Mindful meditation will sharpen your mind and develop your frame.

Intro: This isn’t click-bait about how meditation boosts your immune system or lowers your blood pressure. More importantly, this isn’t second hand information. I wouldn’t write about it if I wasn’t experienced enough to explain it.

I know my target reader. I’m trying to reach those who are actively engaged in self development. People of all ages who want to improve their lifestyle through healthy habits and productivity. That’s why I’m keeping my content direct and experience-based. Welcome the first blog post by The Mindful Alpha.

Body:

The benefits of meditation are very subtle, but there’s one benefit that truly impacts your daily life: mindfulness. Mindfulness is best defined as instant clarity. Mindfulness in Plain English describes the process as such:

(a) mindfulness reminds us of what we are supposed to be doing, (b) it sees things as they really are, and (c) it sees the true nature of all phenomena.

Let’s look at this first point carefully.

Mindfulness reminds us of what we are supposed to be doing.

When you’re reading pointless articles instead of writing your essay, mindfulness is what dictates you to stop wasting your valuable time. When you’re at the gym and you suddenly realize you’ve been resting too long between sets. That moment of realization is mindfulness, it happens in an instant. The thought “oh yeah I should be lifting these” occurs after mindfulness.

Mindfulness not a thought, it’s simply awareness. When you sit for twenty minutes focusing on your awareness of your thoughts, you’re developing the habit of mindfulness. Everyone has these moments of clarity, but with consistent practice you’ll experience them frequently throughout your day.

Mindfulness and Frame: Frame is how you view and maneuver through reality. Mindfulness trains you to be aware of your feelings and thought patterns. In effect, mindfulness reminds you of your frame.

Let’s say a man who hasn’t fully internalized his masculinity is insulted. He will most likely react defensively.  With mindfulness, he recognizes his own defensive thought pattern, and just like that his frame is back. Now he displays alpha body language, cracks a smile, and drops his suave comeback

How to Meditate: I’m not going to waste too much time with this. Sit in a quiet room and focus on your breath while noticing your thoughts pass.

Lessons Learned:
– Mindfulness will direct you back to your mission
– Mindfulness will reestablish your frame
– Go meditate

Further Reading:

Mindfulness in Plain English

Related Posts: 

How To Optimize Your Mind For Success

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